The ‘click’ you heard ain’t a cricket, that’s the ‘safety’ coming off an automatic shotgun!

Only in America do they chain 50-cent pens to the counter, but leave their $50,000 cars out in the street.

The above is a joke copied from the Adam Smith Institute’s website, and while it isn’t really amusing to me, it struck a chord in my memory! I read a piece in a newspaper which was written about life in Suburban America, where the barbecues are lit, and smoke gently curls around the branches which surround many gardens. The article was written by a British writer, married to an American, who was telling the story of their move from an apartment in the city to a house complete with a two-car garage, large garden and pool!She tells of the last-minute arrangement to meet the departing previous owners as they set off for their own new property, and the list of items given the new owners about the best neighbourhood shops, services such as plumbers, electricians and garages, the addresses of all the churches in the neighbourhood, together with the names of their nearest neighbours.

The new owners, pleased to be given a head start on all the things which would take some finding out, waved farewell to the previous house-owners as their big station wagon rolled back down the drive and then started in on the unpacking and positioning of all their own possessions in the new house! It wasn’t until they were sitting back, exhausted at the end of a busy day that the writer’s husband suddenly realised that the one thing which hadn’t been handed over were the house keys! It was true, the new owners were resident in a house with three entrances, plus a double garage and a pool house, none of which could be secured against intruders or theft.

For the next three years, the entire family’s property, inclusive of two late-model cars, sat on this ordinary street without a single lock between the whole outfit. At times, the cars sat out without even being locked! The British writer did express some reservations about this total lack of security provisions, but soon she realised that the threat was virtually zero! Now many if not most British readers would allege that I am making this up, as no-one can imagine a similar situation existing in Britain, as the property would be ransacked, despoiled and vandalised within about five hours, never mind five days!

The big difference between the homes in Britain and that described in America, is simple, and once I reveal the difference between the two areas all will be clear; the home in America also is furnished with weaponry. There were two handguns, a rifle, a shotgun and a semi-automatic rifle, all complete with ammunition! There is virtually no crime in the dormitory suburbs of America, because the thieves, drug addicts and all the low life scum who depend on crime for the money for their next fix or meal wouldn’t dream of attempting to disturb the serenity of urban America, because they know that the use of ‘deadly force’ is both accepted and encouraged by all, with local law enforcement giving classes on the safe use and handling of weapons, and the very Constitution giving the citizens ‘the right to bear arms’!

When the twin gun disasters of Dunblane and Hungerford hit the United Kingdom, emergency legislation was rushed through Parliament so that all legally-held firearms had to be handed in at Police stations, and many antique firearm collections had to be either broken up or mauled in an attempt to render them useless: and what do we see in the headlines in return; why we read of killings almost every week using gun crime, murder, robbery and drug running gun use. Why, because the criminals know that the law enforcement agencies have been virtually emasculated by politically-correct legislation which gives the criminal the benefit of the doubt every time, and gives further force to the well-known slogan "When owning a gun becomes a criminal offense, only criminals will own guns."

A tale of two countries, two families, two problems and two strange outcomes!


Just browsing through the old files, blogs, newspapers and items lodged in my sub-conscious, and suddenly realised that what we have in this country of mine is nothing short of the Middle-East mind-process in action. I would like to describe two different families, two very different sets of circumstances, and two very different endings!

Two brothers, born in India, succeed in making, at roughly the same time, a very great deal of money and a whole slew of political and commercial enemies. They face, if arrested in their homeland, a long spell in prison before they are even charged, because of the huge backlog in the Indian judicial and legal systems, which of course would suit their commercial and political rivals. They search for a "Fairy" godmother, and succeed in finding one who fits the descriptions perfectly, in that he’s both bent as a fishhook and very well placed politically within the incorruptible Labour Government! So, without any further ado, or investigation, or proof that this benighted country of ours would actually benefit, they are both handed the magic passports which ensure their "Get out of jail free" cards with respect to their little legal difficulties in India. I would just repeat that there was absolutely no urgent reason why these passports should have been dispensed, other than that of very highly-placed influence! The politician is very briefly reprimanded after his actions are illuminated, spends a six month period in the political equivalent of the ‘doghouse’ and then commences rising rapidly up the ladder of success to where he is now; yes, it’s the slippery arse-hole bandit himself, Peter Mandelson, EU Trade Commissioner! He now spends his days, when away from screwing his long-time boyfriend by screwing with our trading relations with the rest of the world!

Another family, comes to Britain under the guise of immigrants, but when the man decides to ditch his family and go back whence he came, the wife decides that she is gonna’ apply for asylum for herself and her four children, and goes the whole hog inclusive of expensive legal appeals through the courts! Not that she’s worried about the cost, because she’s not paying; the British taxpayer is picking up the tab! After a five year legal process, the Home Office finally gets to put them on a flight out to Malawi, and theoretically washes it’s hands!

Now I happen to agree with the Home Office in this case, and firmly wish the family well back in Africa, but there’s just this niggling voice somewhere just above my left earhole which keeps repeating a little Haiku; which isn’t a very good example of that Japanese art thingy, which goes like this:-

All must realise there are no

shortcuts to paradise:

That’ll do nicely!