In This, The Best Of All Possible Worlds.

I note that the Scots are once more in the headlines, and as usual it is because the Scots ‘lifestyle’ has been placed under the spotlight. According to a study released, or rather squeezed out today, it has been found that 97.5% of the Scots are likely to be either cigarette smokers, heavy drinkers, fat, have a bad diet, and never do any exercise. The researchers on the study went on to warn that the problems could be even worse as the study was based on self-reported answers, which notoriously underestimate actual consumption.

So, in spite of the funding base for NHS Scotland, which allows a 16% higher than English staff ratio, and up to £267 per person spend north of the Border, we see a disparity in health standards which consistently show that the Scots are not taking a blind bit of notice of all the health warnings passed down by their favourite Political party.

But it is not all bad news, because as far as I am concerned we as British should be helping the shower North of the Border to continue with their excessively-heavy drinking habits, encouraging them to eat more deep-fried Mars bars with supersaturated fat-laden chips as a main course, after starters of at least five cans of ‘heavy’ and a couple of haggis. You may well ask why I am applauding them in their national suicidal tendencies?

Simples. As the English, who are the main generators of whatever wealth there remains in this Labour-plundered country of ours, have been forced to subsidise the Scots ‘lifestyle’ by the application of the Barnett formula which doles out totally ridiculous amounts of cash to the Scots in proportion to the actual numbers of Scots who inhabit the self-manufactured slums of Scotland, I feel that in due time, the Scots will actually die out on a totally natural if speedy basis, and we shall reap the benefits.

We will not have to listen to the whining tones of Alex Salmond as he tries to wheedle even more of our hard-earned cash for his favourite programmes, such as the ‘Scots language’ for all the two hundred and twenty-three people who actually converse in that dead language. We won’t have to subsidise the ‘free’ tuition for Scots University students, as there will not be any. We won’t have to listen as the screeching calls for ‘Scots wha’ hae and Independence’ ring through their hideously-expensive parliament building, as there will not be any need to open up the building, as they will all hopefully have died off!

We will of course have to import some qualified people to help make whisky, which is possibly the last item remaining in the once-proud Scots manufacturing base; we could probably get volunteers from Northern Ireland to wander back across, and pick up some of the pieces.

It will be lovely and quiet, north of the Border!