Well, its like Opera, but with a lot more blood

China and Great Britain have agreed further cultural exchanges, according to reports.

The UK government stated:- Groundbreaking digital arts will push creative boundaries, whilst the launch of a major online arts portal will see audiences actively engaging through a variety of integrated platforms. Oh Joy!

The United Kingdom will be sending:-

  • A full costumed production, from the Globe Theatre, of Shakespeare’s Merchant of Venice.
  • The British Museum’s ‘History of the World in One Hundred Objects’.
  • A full exhibition of Prince Charles’ typical day, inclusive of the toothbrush with toothpaste already lodged on to brush bristles, a rack of suits, shirts and ties, together with assorted pairs of highly-polished shoes, socks; and a cup of tea with the tea-bag still in place. The inclusion of a tray of organic vegetables was discussed, but it was decided not to imply that the UK either had food to spare, or that there had ever been food shortages within China.

In return, the Chinese will be sending  a few of their most treasured and revered antiquities:-

  • A sixteen metre square segment of the Tiananmen Square cobblestones, complete with the bloodstains of some of the five thousand students who were crushed underneath the tank tracks, or shot down by the heavy machine guns of the Mongolian Shock Army, who were specially selected by the Chinese Praesidium as the only ones who were capable of massacring the stupid and idealistic young people who had the simple flawed hope that they could hold civilised discussions with a bunch of geriatric mad men who went by the collective name of the Politburo Standing Committee.
  • A new portfolio of photographs showing, in high-definition detail, the welcoming smiles of the Tibetans as they greet the latest emissaries from their fraternal Chinese conquerors compatriots.
  • The Chinese version of Shakespeare’s Richard the Third, complete and in accord with the Bard, as well as the Politburo’s definition of the term ‘My kingdom for a horse’.

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