…when y’ gonna learn?


I like and admire America, I also admire and know Americans with whom I have worked with over many years. I honestly feel that the greatest mistake in our history we, as a Nation, ever made was to ignore the limited requests of the Colonial leaders. The blind stupidity of the British in their implementation of various punitive Acts, all of which were designed to favour the British and punish the American colonists, finally caused the spark which lit the fires of Independence, which culminated in the bruising War of Independence, the rise of a free United States, and the loss of all that lovely tax revenue heading back towards Westminster.

There is, however, one strand of American society which, thankfully, has not yet wholly reached these Island shores; and that, of course, is the ability of Americans to blindly embark on the craziest of ideas, and believe they will be unscathed at the end. I even believe that there is a group name for the indulgent loons who grab any excuse to make themselves either in urgent need of medical or financial assistance; namely ‘The Massed Battalions of Murphy’. We see a small instance of these clowns in the advance of people climbing into ‘tanning booths’ all over the British countryside; presumably in the belief that they know better than the massed opinions of doctors, scientists and medical professionals. I mean, the idea of showing or believing that you have a bronzed, tanned or burned and shrivelled skin as a virtue, leaves me somewhat puzzled; as the incidence of skin cancer statistics, along with the all too-accessible tales of a sudden and pretty agonising death caused by these lethal unshielded U/V tubes is readily available to those who can read. But the proles continue to pay their cash down, strip off and lie in close proximity to deadly ultraviolet rays. We should be able to state that they were at least warned; but since a fair proportion cannot even read, who can say who, if anyone, is responsible?

But there is hope for us here in these damp islands on the edge of Europe; at least there has not been a great take-up of ‘Cryotherapy Salons’ such as exist and spreading across America. The idea that the the human body can be rejuvenated, can burn calories, reduce pain, strengthen immune systems and halt aging by embedding them in freezing tanks for a few minutes at a time; is, to any thinking person, just plain insane. But still they go, spending huge amounts of cash in the hope and belief that they will be feeling better. Well folks, I presume  Ms. Ake-Salvacion, the manager of a Rejuvenice Spa in Henderson, Nevada, reckoned that she could do with a few minutes cooling after work: cooling, I might add, at -240 degrees Fahrenheit! She is a little cooler now, in fact she is stone cold dead, having been found frozen solid the morning after her shift ended. I hate to state or say anything derogatory of a dead person, but, it has to be said, ‘If you believe that crap, you deserve everything which comes your way!’

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