Mike’s Sunday News Snippets & Commentary

Sunday is, for most of we British, a day of rest, relaxation and ‘catching up’ with family, and with local and national news. We can buy our chosen Sunday newspaper, or watch the extended tv or internet-based news, and soak up what has been happening, secure in the knowledge that there aren’t too many Muslim or Iranian murderous morons lurking around the local McDonalds. So I thought that In would cast my eyes around the world of News, and see what I could dissect.

  • A ninety-two year-old lady died in the North Middlesex General Hospital in Edmonton from complications after a fall. She was told in the kindest manner possible by our wonderfully attentive and dedicated nursing staff, before she fell and injured her leg with a gash which cut to the very bone; that, as there was no-one to help her stand up and move to a toilet, she should just lie there and wet the bed. Makes your heart swell with pride at our wonderful NHS; does it not?
  • When the BBC broadcast the news about an attempted abduction of an R.A.F. serviceman, the words were, to say the least, abrupt and foreshortened. The incident was buried on the fourth story of the England section, despite being newsworthy of a front page slot; and the attackers were not even described at all: just that the ‘Police were seeking witnesses’. The police later issued the following descriptions of the two attackers:- One is described as between 20 and 30 years old, approximately 6ft (1.81m) tall, of athletic but stocky build, with long dark hair and a well-groomed beard. He was of Middle Eastern appearance with dark skin and wore dark casual clothing. The other is said to be around the same age but younger than the first suspect and of a slimmer build, 5ft 10ins (1.78m) tall, and clean shaven with short dark hair. He was also of Middle Eastern appearance and wore a white T-shirt and dark shorts. You would then immediately understand the BBC’s problem, in that ‘MIddle-Eastern appearance’ is ‘media-speak’ for Muslims, and we can’t go blaming anyone from a Muslim background as being responsible, because that might appear to state that Muslims are capable of violence, or terrorism, and that really isn’t so!
  • Seems as though even Kate Moss finds problems when seeking to develop or change a really old and decrepit barn. Seems as though our Kate forgot about the need to look after our bat population: understandable of course, seeing as though batshit reeks with bacteria, and bat urine can ‘mark’ a coat at seventy-five yards. Kate was warned that a proposal to modernise an old barn would be blocked until she proved that the old wreck no longer harboured pipistrelle bats; and that there weren’t any in the barn either!
  • The moral about not defecating on your own doorstep was brought into fine focus when the Shadow Chancellor attempted to distance himself from the bully-boy tactics of Momentum, who had threatened MP’s with de-selection after they voted against Corbyn; despite McDonnell heading the Momentum campaign.
  • So the IOC bottled it, and allowed Russia to send athletes to the Games, but gives final approval to Federations. So, the mass applications of EPO blood doping can carry on, the intake of steroids will increase, the eventual emergence of the Big Pharma Games is almost guaranteed, and the losers: the athletes, the swimmers, the cyclists and all the other exponents of the once-pure sporting activities will gaze sadly at the podiums, peopled exclusively by the new Druggies, the ones who win by any means!