I presume they called for volunteers.


The trial has just concluded for Leston Lawrence, accused of stealing $180,000 worth of gold, from his place of employment, the Royal Canadian Mint. (A verdict will be handed down sometime in November.)

The gold was supposedly removed from site in the form of pucks, cookie-sized, and weighing 7.4 ounces each. Now, mints, especially when they’re making gold coins, tend to be pretty secure places. And indeed, employees at the Royal Canadian Mint go through security screenings on their way out of the facility. Lawrence is accused of smuggling out these 7.4 ounce gold pucks, some 18 in total, in his rectum. (One at a time, I hope.) By using this, um, method, Lawrence was able to bypass a metal detector and subsequent pass with a wand.

I know. But it actually gets worse: The method sounds like a long-shot, so to ensure that the theory actually worked in practice, in preparation for the prosecution, someone actually tested it to see if it worked.

So yep, it could truly be stated that s**t happens.

Hey, at least now your job doesn’t look so bad, does it?

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