..and the second prize is two weeks in Moscow.

If anyone has been watching anything apart from the news of the American Election, in which a complete outsider, a billionaire nut-job (to use one of the favourite phrases of his many detractors) beat the living daylights out of all the usual suspects, and is due to enter the White House on January 20th: lots of other things have been happening. The OPEC cartel, who used to state ‘that’s our oil price….take it or leave it’ has once more attempted to set a limit on production: hoping that anyone will take any notice. On this side of the pond, the Bremoaners are searching for any way to get Great Britain into reverse gear; but when the loudest shouts come from Tony Blair and his arsehole-buddy Mandelson; they don’t even sound like winners, never mind look like finishing the course. Lots of movement in the shipping industry, with the world’s largest bankruptcy slicing down Hanjin Shipping, who expanded too far, too fast; until their debts just caught up with them; lots more Lines are either approaching bankruptcy, or evading the state, because once again they’ve over-borrowed and under-resourced their ships.

titanicdownBut at least one bunch (Chinese, obviously) are setting the keel plates down on a ship, but it will not be just any ship, it will be a full-size replica of the Titanic. Seven Star Investment Group’s plans for a tourist resort along the Qijiang River in Sichuan’s Daying County will feature the doomed ship, together with a simulation of the iceberg which holed and sank the White Star liner, which went down along with the 1,500-odd passengers who did not escape in the lifeboats. Facing criticism of the proposed resort, which shall play heavily on the fact that the original Titanic is still one of this worlds’ largest cemeteries; the spokesman stated everything would be done in a ‘respectful and tasteful’ way. How much ‘taste’ you can squeeze out of a mass grave, was not explained.

Hollywood and Disneyworld denied categorically that they were searching for funding to build a life-like replica of the Massacre of Nanking, where 275,000 Chinese died at the hands of the Imperial Japanese Army: and the Russian Federation also denied that they were laying plans to build a life-size replica of Auschwitz Concentration and Death Camp; complete with working gas chambers and crematoria, ; but did confirm that the infamous sign over the entrance to the place where around eight million people had perished had already been fabricated; just in case!

“Armed Police: Drop your weapon, or we fire!”

So, there was this bloke, either inclined towards allah; or mentally unbalanced or both; swinging an axe in a Hull shopping centre street.

The Fuzz ‘heavy mob’ roll up, and attempt to speak / reason with / talk down / ask him to surrender.

Presumably, he either makes threatening moves, complete with double-edged axe swinging, or refuses to respond; so the Fuzz, not normally known for their patience and warm comradely approach to fruit-and-nut cases; fire their weaponry, and down he goes.

The average statement would be simply along the lines of ‘he was armed, he refused to surrender, we are not in the business of placing ourselves in harm’s way, so we fired: and there’s an end to it.’

But the Guardian, of course, comes out with a ‘witness’ who stated:- “There was blood everywhere. His jeans were slightly down and you could see his boxer shorts were covered in blood. It’s sad. At the end of the day whatever he’s done he’s got a mum somewhere, hasn’t he?”